Grandmothers are like books. They take up time and space, and they smell. They are even dusty. The wisdom of the ages is that simple and direct. This is the source of knowledge we human beings survived upon for hundreds of thousands of years before what we call ‘modern civilization’ descended upon our lives. But, everything is so much better now.
Actually, what really makes things better, are machines. The rest is questionable. And the invention of machines did not require Charlemagne, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler or Mao. Forget about all those wars. All that it required was a natural spirit of inquiry left free to inquire. Curiosity. But, of course, that caused a lot of mischief too.
Some have grandmothers who kept them in the house to avoid accidents, and bullies, and germs. But those grandmothers had very few great grandkids (side benefit: population reduction). Others of us had a grandmother who told us to get home before dark as she closed the door behind. And we did because her cooking was that good, if nothing else.
What Grandma said was always the truth. If facts disagreed, it was likely the facts that were wrong. We disobeyed at our own peril. Grandma (mine at least) did not have a degree in physics, but she knew about the laws of motion. Her sense of gravity was impeccable. Her degree was in common sense. Now we can just do TicToc.
My grandmother was not a saint, but she had a fair anger and a sure sense of right and wrong. When she was mistaken, it was usually because she was forced to decide before she was ready—before she could know all the facts. But then, importantly, she usually reserved judgement rather than make a wrong one.
Grandpa was not blessed with her reserve, but he was handy. And lucky. At least he married Grandma when he had the chance. But what does this all have to do with the machine? The matter is that now, much of our lives are dictated by the machine. We disobey the machine at our own peril. And several generations have come along who hardly know their grandmothers. And this, I believe, is now the problem with everything.
Such a broad brush of a statement will find little support among those who never really knew their grandmothers. This is not just a pity—it is a tragedy, for them and thence for all of mankind. And of course there are some grandfathers, or aunts or uncles, who filled in when the need arose, but grandfathers too often died in wars or were maimed by their work, and it was the grandmothers who carried the load—who passed on the wisdom of the ages (not a problem now, with fewer aunts and uncles to pick up the slack).
And too, it is the grandmothers who have always suffered most from the poor decisions of husbands and sons who failed to listen and learn. It was also their sons who died in war, or who came home deaf and blind and legless. It was often their homes that were destroyed—just collateral damage you understand. But there are not a lot of grandmothers in history who conquered other nations. Aggressive behavior is predominately a male characteristic. That is the nature of the species.
Now, there are not a lot of grandmothers in training these days. Not enough, anyway. So much better to just have a dog. Or a cat. You have college bills to pay, after all. How will you know anything if you don’t go to college? You can’t afford children. So much better to commute to an office, work in a nice clean cubicle, and sip coffee from a plastic mug. So much more fulfilling. Men do it!
The machine was made by men—for their benefit and convenience. Sure, there are some women who were inventive. (You’ll think of one if you have a moment), but the infernal device was usually made to suit the male mind for efficiency, or multiply and expand upon male strength, and this always became a numbers game. And who wants to be stuck in the kitchen anyway? It is not that canned ravioli tastes better, but that it is cheaper and easier to make. Forget the arts of cooking. It’s in the can!
Funny thing, how young adults who cannot really afford it, will go out to eat at a restaurant rather than open a package—or can—at home. Hilarious. But the machine is great! Really! Charlie Chaplin had it all wrong! We have more leisure time now—we can watch Star Wars—again. And with AI, the machines that entertain us will be even better. We have CGI. We can skip the theatre and stay at home and hook up—not with a friend but to a marvelous device. There will be so much less angst. Very cozy.
With AI, we don’t even have to drive our own cars anymore. Fewer accidents, you know. Within a generation, most people will not even know how to drive, anyway. Much safer. We can already work from home these days, with virtual meetings, and avoid the germs. Of course, AI takes the fun out of sports betting, but maybe we can even things out a bit. There is a video game for that, isn’t there? And money—hell, that’s just a blip on the screen. The worry over April 15th every year is eliminated. The ‘money’ never even really left the treasury’s pocket.
In a few years all our food will be chosen for us by the AI at the market. (It knows what you like), and then it delivers! That’s another savings on gas, and congestion. Much healthier too. The machine can help you avoid too many sweets. AI can even choose our clothes. It’s already making them anyway. You’ll never be out of fashion again! AI can do it all. Of course it can! Think about it. What can it not do? You’ll have more time to do all the things you always wanted to. With permission.
Grandma is superfluous! No unpleasant funerals to go to. We now have AI. And anyway, because we will all live in apartment cells, we won’t have grandma’s house to go to anymore. Sunday traffic will be so much better. Yeah.